Last week of July

This is always going to be a tough week for me. Joanne died two years ago and the end of July brings back memories of the days and nights in intensive care and watching her fade away in spite of everything that the doctors could do. I have come through the difficult months and I've been doing really well although I still miss her terribly. The desolation and sadness have abated but still lie below the surface and come back occasionally - usually when I don't expect it.

This year I managed to cope pretty well. Jill went on a vacation trip to Chicago with her friend, Anna, so we didn't feed on each other's feelings. I'm glad she went because it kept her busy and she had a great time. We talked on the phone and talked a little about 'the day' but didn't dwell on it.

I decided to have painters come and repaint the downstairs and the stairwell and repair a drywall problem. Their schedule brought them to the house on July 30th so that meant that I was going to be busy with them and not left alone to feel bad.

As the week approached I also decided to look into the possibility of trading in Mr. Boots...my old truck...in the "Cash for Clunkers" program. That ended up taking much of my time during the week because there was a lot of documentation needed and I was shopping for a good deal. I found a truck and the trade-in is pending so that went well.

I spent some time looking at vacation videos and photo slide shows so I got a chance to reconnect with some of the good times we had. I went out and watched the stars in the early morning hours of July 30th and saw a bright yellow meteor cross the sky. That is special to me because my life is connected to meteor showers that accentuate major personal events. I was born during a meteor shower and always spend part of my birthday watching for meteors. Joanne died during a meteor shower and seeing that yellow one streak across the sky seemed to help with my feelings.