Remembering Kelly

Joanne's 1/2 sister, Kelly, died in her sleep last night (April 15) at St. Anthony's hospice in St. Louis. I think I met Kelly when she was about 10 years old when I was first dating Joanne in the early 1970s. Kelly was a much-loved, sweetheart of a person and we will miss her terribly. I think that I probably never saw her when she wasn't surrounded by loving people or her loving pets. That isn't to say that she was always sweetness and light...she was a Wolff, after all, and had the stubborn streak that is pretty easily identifiable.

She had a fractured relationship with her dad that went on much too long because they were both too stubborn to settle their differences. Milt was blustery and typically didn't give people much of a 2nd chance if he thought you screwed up. And Kelly was just as stubborn but took him at his word and and that pretty well ended their relationship. Neither one could bend enough to reestablish contact, although Kelly tried a few times and I know Milt still loved her underneath all of the bluster.

Kelly was married to John O'Leary for some time but he became sick and died leaving her a widow - but with a good pension. She met Ron at work and they lived as if they were married...she called him her fiance. The relationship was good for both of them and they had a number of happy years together...along with 3 dogs, 4 cats, 2 rabbits, a dozen fish and a half-dozen parakeets.

For someone as young as she was she had a lot of health problems. She had been fighting diabetes for some time and then in 2004 she had the first heart attack. She had other heart problems along the way but managed to stay upbeat and always went back to work. She truly enjoyed her job and the people she worked with. She became sick last fall with cervical cancer but because of her other health problems the doctors couldn't be as aggressive as they needed to be in treating it. The cancer spread uncharacteristically and by the time they had figured out what was happening it was too late.

Joie loved her dearly and they were also good friends. Jill says Kelly was her 'coolest' aunt. I didn't always understand her...the whole family is complicated...but she was a sweet and loving person to me from the very start. She was very encouraging to me after Joie died and seemed to lok up to me somewhat. She had been through her own time of grief and knew what I was going through. In the end, she was sort of an inspiration to me as she became sick and pretty well managed her going out the way she wanted to. I will miss her a great deal but she is now pain-free and where she needs to be.

God bless you sweetheart.

On the road with Wally & the Beav

I don't know why we never did this before. Paul and I spent about 10 days together on a road trip to New Mexico. I don't think we have travelled together in at least 40 years. Paul remembers a trip down to Silver Mines but I don't recall when we did that.




We drove down I-44 and stayed in Oklahoma City and then went west on I-40 to Albuquerque. No problems on the road going out except a little road construction.


We stopped just west of Amarillo and visited Cadillac Ranch. Paul seemed a little incredulous about the place and that we stopped. Actually there was a tour bus there and about 6 or 8 cars full of people besides us. There was at least 100 people strolling in and out of the place while we were there. Spray painting graffiti on the old cars is the major activity. We didn't paint anything but most of the other visitors were. They were even painting cow pies and writing notes on the packed dirt.

In Albuquerque we stayed in an extended stay motel and did sort of a combination tourist and house hunter thing. Our plan had been to use the kitchen and cook some meals at the motel. We did a few but usually ended up going out for supper. We ate at Rudy's BBQ which is sort of an odd place....you buy your BBQ by the pound and assemble your own sandwich. You have to buy a ticket if you want a beer and then take it to

the beer guy who will carry it to your table. The food was good and it was only a block away from the motel. We also ate at Two Fools Tavern on Central Avenue and at The Range up in Bernalillo. We had some good fish and chips at Two Fools Tavern. Made with Haddock, not Cod. The Range is a classic cafe in "downtown" Bernalillo and a good place to people-watch.

We found a nice Italian restaurant called Luigi's. Luigi came out of the kitchen and confessed that his momma made the gnocchi and the pesto sauce and the tomato sauce....she does good work. I'm going to try to remember Luigi's since Capo's closed down up near where I'll be living.


We did more than eat...we found wineries, too. First we went to Casa Rondena up near Los Ranchos de Albuquerque. Rondena is sort of a fancy pants place with large Tuscan-looking buildings but some very old and venerable vineyards and some pretty good wine. The wine is a little high priced and you have to pay $5.00 for a tasting session. We bought a bottle of wine and sat out in the garden area to drink it. There was a fair number of people there. The other winery was St. Clair Winery and it is actually located in Deming but they have a "bistro" in Albuquerque. They charge $6.00 but they have more varieties of wine to choose from. We liked their wines and bought a couple glasses of wine and had a light lunch. We ended up buying a few bottles to take with us. I'm looking forward to the New Mexico wine festival held at Bernalillo each year at Labor Day.

I was really glad to have Paul with me when we looked at display houses and worked through some house construction issues. I've been thinking that I needed a second opinion from someone on the lot and also on the builder and the house plan. First we went to see the lot. I'm not sure Paul could believe what he was seeing -- a vacant lot of desert with cactus and yucca and a dozen or so juniper trees on an unpaved road. We walked the lot trying to locate the corners and taking notice of all the little animal tracks. We found one burrow that was a pretty good size. As we walked and I pointed out the grade school and how close the neighboring developments were and that the lot had gas, electric, phone and cable TV already installed, Paul seemed to start seeing the potential. He thinks that it will just be a matter of a year or so and I'll have neighbors because the school is only 2 blocks away.

We looked at some display homes put up by Pulte and another by Stillbrooke. I wanted to see what a smaller house would look and feel like. We saw one that was about 1,500 sq. ft. and, while it was laid out pretty well, it was too small and claustrophobic. Some of the larger houses were better but they were trying to squeeze four bedrooms into the space which made them seem cramped.

We made contact with Betty, my builder, and also with the developer of the subdivision. We saw a couple of Betty's houses and the difference in quality between her homes and the tract homes was obvious. We also saw Donna at one of Betty's houses. We saw one of the developer's houses and it was pretty close to Betty's in quality and looked pretty good compared to the tract homes. Since nothing is selling I'm hoping that prices have come down a little. The developer's prices are pretty good and have come down about $30 per sq. ft. Berty says that she can come down a little in labor costs but material costs have not come down much.

We met with Betty and Max and went over the floor plans. We made some changes and actually ended up making the plan bigger by about 30 feet. Paul seemed impressed with Betty's houses and with Max's design so I think my plan passed the 2nd opinion test.


We visited the Al Unser Racing Museum...actually spent part of 2 days there. We got there late and they gave us a two-day ticket so we went back. They have a bunch of Unser family race cars on display. Paul knew a lot about most of them but it was mostly new to me. It was interesting. The Indy cars are smaller than I thought they would be. They had some interactive video displays and a couple simulators. We did a NASCAR simulation and then did an Indy simulation - five laps around the course. These were a lot of fun. The NASCAR simulator required you to use some special virtual reality goggles, which made it a little difficult. The Indy simulator was a race against 10 other drivers. You could pass them but they would try to run you off into the infield or against the wall. Paul somehow blew his engine and by the time he got the car back on the track the other cars were too far ahead. On my turn I started off OK and then ran into a car and ended up in the infield and couldn't get out. The kind lady got me started again and this time I was able to stay on the track and even passed several drivers but I couldn't get any better than 7th place because they were intent on running me off the track if I tried to pass. It was a lot of fun but they need to give you a therapy session to talk you down before you leave and go out into live traffic.






We made a trip up to Santa Fe for a few hours and then came down the back road (Hwy 14) to Albuquerque called the Turquoise Trail. The road is a two-lane highway that has lots of curves and hills. Paul seemed to enjoy driving on something that wasn't an interstate highway. We stopped in Madrid which is a former ghost town that now is inhabited by mostly Woodstock generation people selling crafts and art in a bunch of old and new stores. It was an interesting side trip. Santa Fe was OK but we really only ate lunch there.



Our trip back home was a little stressful because of the weather. We kept hearing about a possible blizzard. It was so nice in Albuquerque that it was hard to imagine the weather turning that bad. We left for home with the snow storm following close behind. When we got to Amarillo it was clear that the people there were tensed up and expecting the worst. In Oklahoma City the rain caught up with us and it turned colder. The next day we started off following thunder storms and we were driving on wet highways most of the way home.

Walking the Dogs

Jill got me started volunteering at the JC Animal Shelter as a dog walker. The facility is so small and outdated that they don't have dog runs or any enclosed outdoor space for the dogs so there are a number of volunteers who walk the dogs in the little park across the street. Since this is a city dog pound they will eventually put down animals that can't be adopted or that just repeatedly get passed over. This is a little difficult and a constant worry when there are dogs that just seem to sit week after week and not get adopted. We had a scare with a dog named Megan who was a good dog, sort of a black lab mix, but she became frightened one day when a wheel barrow fell off a passing dump truck on the highway. After that she became more frightened each time she would go outside and something unexpected would happen. She went down hill pretty fast and we figured she would never be adopted....but eventually she found a home.



ALBERT -- Some dogs have a rap sheet. Albert is in the shelter because he discovered that he likes to eat chicken. The chickens belonged to a neighbor and neither the chickens nor the neighbor were pleased. He has been there for a couple weeks.


ARIEL -- At about seven years of age, Ariel thinks she is sort of the dowager queen of the animal shelter. She has a weight problem and needs to walk but she is somewhat opinionated on the direction she wants to go. She is good at slipping out of her harness and has to be carried back to the shelter. She thinks that is great fun.



BRENNA -- Brenna was once a family dog but somehow got separated and was picked up as a stray out in the county. She is probably the best natured dog in the shelter and is great on a leash. She had good care when she lived with her family but no one has come to claim her.



BYRON -- Byron came to the animal shelter because his owner was shipped overseas with the military and there were no other options for him. He always looks for his person when we go for our walks but is getting accustomed to the shelter. He is a little rambunctious and hard to handle on his leash.


SAMMIE -- There are lots of puppies at the shelter. Sammie was adopted as a puppy but was returned soon afterward because the family couldn't keep him. He loves treats and is growing fast. He has to compete with other younger puppies when people come in to adopt a dog and so far hasn't been picked.


I'm supposed to be getting more exercise so walking the dogs a few times a week is helping. The shelter has a bunch of cats and kittens but no one has been able to get them to agree to walk on a leash.

Adventures in Dentistry

I am no fan of dentists. I have habitually avoided them for most of my life and, until now, I have never found one that I actually liked. I can tolerate them for a while but that is about it.

I doubt that anyone enjoys going to the dentist. That isn't what I'm talking about. I also don't have a fear of dentists like some people do. I just don't like them as a general rule.

In my case it goes back to my early formative years when I was sent to the St. Louis University Dental School clinic for my first actual dentist visits. This was a room about half the size of a football field filled with dentist chairs and dozens of pimple-faced dentist wannabes with outdated tools and no skills to speak of. It was the luck of the draw....you waited for your name to be called and then they turned you over to this kid with a drill. Of course you had to have x-rays first so that took a while as they stuffed 3-by-5 cards in your mouth, told you to bite down and then ran out of the room. When the kid started drilling and smoke was coming out of your mouth there would occasionally be a "real" dentist who would walk up and peer into your mouth, usually with his hands clasped behind his back. At the time I thought that this was the guy who was going to save me. I hopefully waited for him to take the drill away from the kid and do the job himself. Instead, he would grunt and walk away. Finally he would come back and shove a mirror in my mouth and look at the kid and say "OK, that's a 'C' ". My drill-jockey got a 'C' on my tooth. At lunch time they would all go to lunch and you were turned loose for an hour. You were supposed to drag your lip out to the waiting room or maybe go find something to eat. Paul ate part of his tongue when he actually did go find something to eat...you can't tell when you are chewing your tongue when it is numb. (The picture looks much better than it did in the 1950s but it still gives me the creeps.)

My other early experience had to do with orthodontists. The clinic had a back room where they kept the junior orthodontists. They seemed to be under some type of supervision because you didn't actually get to talk to them. The "real" orthodontist would look at your teeth and ponder what to do. You have probably seen the sculpture of the chimp pondering the human skull? That was the same expression. Then they would decide to take an impression of your teeth. This is really fun. They have these little iron horseshoe shaped troughs filled with some kind of latex-plaster goo and they shove your teeth into it and make you sit there until it hardens. Then they try to get it unstuck from your teeth and then pry out of your mouth. They do one for the top and one for the bottom so you are ready to confess to anything by the time they are done. Then they tell you to come back at a later date when they reveal the plaster model of your teeth. I was mostly interested in getting a look at that C-quality filling that the child-dentist did but that, apparwntly, wasn't the point. My teeth are crooked...big deal. I knew they were crooked because my mom used me as the crooked teeth poster child and made sure everyone in the neighborhood got to see how crooked they were. This was one of her favorite ice-breakers when she met strangers. She would trot me out to show off my crooked teeth. I told her and the clinic where they could stick their braces after that second visit. They had display cases chock full of plaster casts of peoples' teeth so I guess that is where mine are now. I have no interest in going to find out. Decades later I was sent by another dentist to have a consultation with an orthodontist. This guy was one of the best in the city and after making a new set of impressions he told me that my teeth were better off being crooked than having them realigned to the point that they didn't bite properly. That was what I wanted to hear.

I must have gotten the message across that I didn't want to go back to the SLU dental clinic because my mom took me to a dentist she heard about at her work. This guy was down in the black ghetto somewhere...an old Jewish dentist that had been at the same place since before Moses came down off the mountain. By that time I had broken of a corner of my front tooth. (That is a reoccurring theme in my encounters with dentists). This guy proceeded to fit me with a crown to patch up the broken tooth. Again, this took a couple visits and when I went to get the crown put on it was gold and about as big as your thumb. Once it was on my tooth I though it looked hideous -- maybe I could go be a pimp somewhere but I knew I could never go swimming again because the thing would drag my head under water. The crown finally fell off a few years later and I was thrilled to have it gone. I could open my mouth again without looking like an oncoming freight train.

Later on, I only found one dentist that I thought I was going to like but he left town in the middle of the night and disappeared. He didn't even tell his office staff that he was leaving.

I usually went to Joanne's dentist if I had to go. She had a knack for picking them. One guy broke a hand drill off in her tooth while doing a root canal and didn't tell her. He finally did tell her but he attached the crown to the stuck portion of the drill bit. This is the same guy who was late to one of her early morning appointments because he was up all night in his attic stomping raccoons to death. The raccoons had invaded his attic so he went up and stomped them to death. I don't think I would have allowed him to work on my teeth that day.

Her next dentist was better but even he had a screw loose. Every time you would go he would have some new outlandish story or conspiracy theory. Space aliens, Nessie, black helicopters, Vatican or masonic crypto-fraternities and wing-nut politics usually were the topics of discussion. He wasn't a bad dentist but you never knew what mood he was going to be in. Once his marriage broke up it got even worse. Sometimes he didn't talk at all. Sometimes didn't feel like working on your teeth so he would mess around in your mouth for a while and then have you make another appointment.

So now I have gotten to the point, at sixty years of age, that I need some serious dental attention. I have old fillings and a few broken teeth. I decided not to go back to either of these last two guys and started searching for a new dentist. I found one and he seems like he will be OK. Nothing unusual surfaced at the first appointment. The guy is experienced and has modern equipment. He actually reminds me of our vet in a way...which is a good thing. One other similarity with the vet is that this is going to cost an arm and a leg and who knows what else. He seems to think that I don't have a tremendous amount of dental problems but so far the anticipated bill is well into four figures.

I don't plan on re-visiting this topic unless things take a turn for the worse. So far -- so good.