The First Woods

Isn't it funny how memories come flooding back? Sometimes a smell or a taste or maybe a visual cue will open the flood gates. I had the occasion to spend the better part of a week reconnecting with several old friends. These were characters from my past and I hadn't spent time with them for several years. There are different types of friends. The 'facebook friend' is often someone you have never actually met face-to-face.  There  are also 'old 'friends and 'life-long' friends.

One life-long friend, a kid I first met in second grade, has been on my mind for a while even though I haven't seen him in almost twenty years. We have been friends for almost 60 years. Our own kids have grown up and we are looking at empty nests and a down-sized life in retirement. He lives in Silicon Valley. I live on the slope above the Rio Grande Valley in New Mexico.  Those two places are pretty far apart in many ways.

Our time together was a little awkward at first. I complained about the traffic and the stressful and irrational life that folks lead in the Bay Area. He related, for the third time, an unpleasant experience he had travelling in New Mexico about fifteen years ago. We had a couple beers and burgers at a roadside restaurant and drove over the coastal ranges and along Highway 1. We stopped at a few places. We saw a Gray Whale and her calf swimming among the rocks near Santa Cruz. Many of our former experiences involved time spent in cars together and the afternoon drive seemed natural. It was a pleasant time but a little stiff.

Later that evening we talked more and watched a couple music DVDs of aging rock stars that we liked back in the 1970s. His wife was part of the conversation so we were trying to explain and elaborate on our mutual experiences. We talked of other mutual friends we had. We actually lived on the same dorm floor in college so we knew a bunch of people. We had a few small town college adventures and not all of them involved wheels or alcohol. Slowly the years started to peel away.

Finally we were talking about high school and grade school and cub scouts. Or school burned down in second grade so we spent three years huddled in make-shift classrooms in church basements. It was tough on the kids but maybe tougher on the teachers. Then we went on to stories about "the old neighborhood". We had the run of the place in ways that today's kids will never know. Back then it was a semi-rural suburban area and only sparsely developed. Little league games were played in an old wheat field. We were all so cool with little wheat stalks hanging out of out mouths. We had wars throwing Osage Oranges at each other. They looked soft but hurt like hell if you got hit. He used the term "first woods" at one point to relate a story. We had a "first" woods and a "second" woods but that term probably hasn't been spoken in fifty years and it just popped out of his mouth as if he used it every day. We were both surprised -- me to hear it again and him to have spoken it. That opened the flood gate and all sorts of stories poured out. Tales of running from snakes and chasing rabbits in the cornfield. We remembered the old abandoned trolley line that was unused since the 1904 World's Fair. We recounted our adventures in the creek that flowed through the Second Woods that was once called Dead Horse Creek -- what a great name for our adventures back in the 1950s.  We dug a deep "fox hole" out in the First Woods and used it as sort of a club house. It was camouflaged so no one would see it unless they knew it was there. My brother caught pleurisy from the dampness and a telephone lineman fell into the fox hole so we had to fill it in. We talked for hours and started up again the next day on yet another short road trip. We had most of it covered by the time my visit was over. We remembered a few things differently but most of it seemed to be right.

This was the tail-end of a trip to the Bay Area for a wedding of another old friend...his fourth. That went well. Then I spent a couple days with my cousin on his houseboat and we relived family history and shared stories and remembrances and drank some beer. Family, friends and remembrances are common and basic but are one of our most prized and cherished possessions. The time we spend together is a precious gift.

Sociopaths in Power?

Here's an idea....not mine, but worth considering...a blog post by Tom Fleming on his Red Room blog.   Shared April 10, 2014. He has a book: The President's Mortician

How Republican Sociopaths Have Ruined America

BLOG POST BY TIM FLEMING - APR.10.2014 - 2:21 PM

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Much of what ails society today is the proliferation of sociopaths.  I’m not just talking about hardened criminals either; sociopaths are everywhere, in all walks of life.  In fact, the traits they possess are the very traits which impel one to succeed and rise to positions of power in a capitalistic society.  CEOs, Wall Street billionaires, politicians, military chiefs, intelligence operatives, and  right-wing talking heads are among those who have used their sociopathological personality disorders to rule America.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could identify a sociopath before he/she comes to power?  Think of how much better our lives and our country would be if only we knew who the conscienceless bastards really were before we voted for them, came under their employ, listened to their cons, fell prey to their manipulation.  The problem is, they are not easily identified because they wear masks.  They try to fit in by mimicking normal behavior in public.  Some are even charming.  They seduce us with their outward appearance of normalcy, but inside they are godless devils bent on perverting the greater good for their own means.

In the past 35 years America has slowly been transformed from a nation of common purpose  to a nation of the rich, by wealthy, and for the sociopathic few.  That’s because  many of the people in power (mostly Republicans) have been crass opportunists concerned with self- advancement  at the expense of the greater good.  In the age of Reagan, the self-centeredness was heightened to a virtue.  The 1980s gave rise to a rogue’s gallery of Gordon Gekkos and their “greed is good” philosophy.  It wasn’t just Reagan and his policies though, it was the sociopaths he ushered into public service—the Bushes, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Oliver North, William Casey  and a whole band of despicable criminals. The country became more selfish, less communal, and more cynical.  It was then that we started letting the Almighty buck rule all facets of American life.  The more money you had, the more admired you were.  Fuck generosity and compassion for the less fortunate. 

Since then, sociopaths have started illicit wars, drained the national treasury, raped Mother Nature, ruined the climate, and given rise to Rush Limbaugh, FOX News, Newt Gingrich, Paul Ryan, Ted Cruz, et al.  There seem to be more sociopaths than human beings in positions of power.  Maybe that was the whole point.  Now the Extreme Court (uh..er…Supreme Court) has gotten in on the act, by making it easier for sociopathic billionaires to control (read subvert) the democratic process.  Smarmy Vegas casino operators (like Shel Adelson) and fascist industrialists (like the Koch brothers) have far more say in how our government operates than 99% of us.

As a public service then, I am herewith giving you tips on how to spot a sociopath.  If you recognize them in someone, alert authorities and resist the urge to succumb to their wiles.

Traits of a Sociopath (based on the work of psychologists Robert Hare):  While some experts believe that sociopathy has a genetic origin, Hare believed that a sociopath’s behavior “is shaped by social forces and is the result of a dysfunctional environment.”  Hare formed a list of traits common to sociopaths.  Here are the most prevalent:

--Sociopaths are manipulative and very skilled at taking advantage of the good intentions of others .  Allen Dulles, former CIA chief, is a good example.  He was appointed by President Eisenhower in 1953 after promising Ike that the CIA could avoid WWIII by overthrowing socialist and communist countries around the globe via bloodless coups.  Eisenhower, a decent man shaken by the horrors of the second World War, turned over foreign policy to Allen and his brother Foster.  The Dulles brothers, sociopaths of the worst kind, turned America into quasi-fascist Orwellian state by using their enormous power to control the media, murder innocent citizens, evoke hatred of America around the globe, and cover up the assassination of JFK.  All the while, the Dulleses were enriching themselves and their corporate partners—the Forbeses, the Browns, the Rockefellers, the DuPonts, the Hunts—the oldest, richest families in the country.  And Kennedy haters all.

--They have a grandiose sense of self; they think they are better than everyone else, and if they have more money or power than others they use this to their constant advantage.  Moreover, the fact that a sociopath may be wealthier than others or in a position of power over others merely confirms in the sociopath’s mind that he/she is better than others.  In the modern age, who feels more entitled than the richest among us?  The Koch brothers, desperately trying to buy the government, runs roughshod over the poor, the elderly, minorities, and social safety nets.  They care only their own profits.  We should have carved a big “S” in their foreheads at birth, just as Brad Pitt marked Christoph Waltz with a swastika in “Inglourious Basterds.”  Our lives would be much better if we knew whom we were dealing with upfront. 

--They are pathological liars; when they are committing acts that harm the greater good of society, they never tell the truth, even if they are caught in a lie.  To this day, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld and their lackeys still deny that the Iraq war was about oil, despite all evidence to the contrary.

--They have no remorse or guilt, regardless of how heinous their actions are.  When recently asked if he would do anything differently, if he had to do it all over again, Cheney responded, “No.”

--They lack empathy and are callous in their treatment of others.  Mitt Romney dismissed 47% of the country with one glib comment. 

--They are contemptuous of those who seek to understand them.  One of Allen Dulles’s protégés, Frank Wisner, head of the CIA’s Operation Mockingbird in the 1950s, once famously bragged, “The press claims to be free and open in America.  But they are nothing but my personal puppets.  I can pull any string I want and they will follow along.”

--They do not perceive that anything is wrong with them.  Even if they are proven wrong, and even if all about them acknowledge their wrongdoing, the sociopath will never admit to wrongdoing.  See Dick Cheney quote above.

--They are authoritarians; in many cases, they were raised in authoritarian homes where the appearance of uniformity and conformity far outweighed love, compassion, empathy, and charity as laudable qualities.  Henry Kissinger once said of Richard Nixon (a raging sociopath), “Imagine what he could have been if anyone had ever loved him.”

--They are secretive; at all costs they strive to keep their true behaviors and thoughts hidden.  Allen and Foster Dulles, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, George Bush, Richard Nixon, and Oliver North were nothing if not secretive.

--They are paranoid.  Can you imagine anyone more paranoid than Dick Nixon?

--They diligently present a “normal” outward appearance when engaging others.  This is what confounds us about all sociopaths.  Usually we don’t unmask them until it is too late.

--They experience pleasure from enslaving their victims.  And all people they encounter are potential victims, even loved ones.  “Loved ones” is a misnomer, because sociopaths are incapable of love.  Again, Dick Cheney is the perfect example of someone who seemed to derive pleasure from inflicting pain.  Witness the detainees at Guantanamo.  Cheney does not consider what he did torture, yet a 600-page nonpartisan report says he did exactly that.

--When they collaborate, they feed off one another, and their actions become even more diabolical.  No better example of this than the Cheney-Rumsfeld partnerships during the two Bush presidencies.

 http://www.amazon.com/Presidents-Mortician-Tim-Fleming/dp/098882907X

The Joy of Conversation

I have always been considered a quiet person.  When I was little I hardly spoke at all because I was "shy". Later on I was an "introvert".  Well, when I got into my late middle age and eventually found myself alone I discovered I needed conversation. Joanne was a talker more than I was and she would tell me all about her day and generally routine stuff...we talked a lot. When she died and Jill grew up and moved out I needed to hear a human voice other than my own. I'd turn on the TV just for background voices. Finally I figured out how to make friends again and soon I was a regular chatterbox.  One of the most enjoyable things about train travel on Amtrak is meeting people and having a nice and substantial conversation.


Fast forward to 2013...I've moved away from Missouri to New Mexico so I need to make new friends. My neighbors, Rod and Terry, are friendly and like to talk so we visit over the fence a lot. Rod helped my build my bocce court and is a handyman so we play bocce and collaborate on a few projects.


Not long after moving here I discovered Kaktus Brewing Company (that's Kak-toos...a German pronunciation) in the nearby heavily-Hispanic town of Bernalillo, NM. They were just opening in October but I managed to get in for the "soft" opening in late September. This is the first micro-brewery in Bernalillo so they are feeling their way a little. I was helping as much as I could...visiting once or twice a week.


So, chatty as I am, I am not shy about talking to other customers and I have met some of the most interesting people.  Bernalillo is located on the north end of the Albuquerque metro area...on the way to Santa Fe...and borders the Santa Ana pueblo reservation to the north and Sandia pueblo to the south and is just across the highway from Placitas. Placitas is sort of an upscale desert/mountain artsy community mixed with traditional Spanish land grant villagers who are descended from the original grantees. Bernalillo itself dates to about 1690 and folks from here moved south and settled Albuquerque. You might hear more Spanish spoken in Bernalillo than English and major streets and some business are signed in Spanish. Across the river (Rio Grande) is the north extreme of Rio Rancho, a modern and (sporadically) developing suburb of Albuquerque.  I'm describing all this just to give an indication of the diversity of people who walk through the door of Kaktus Brewing.


First off, there's Bjorn, from South Africa. Bjorn works in the film industry and makes the systems needed for producing special effects and some animation. Bjorn is responsible for Tony the Tiger and some of the Shrek movies as well as Spiderman movies. Then there's Dennis, a retired mechanical engineer from Santa Fe. Dennis lived and worked in Chicago and is responsible for designing the machine that wraps your stick of Wrigley's gum in foil and paper. Tom, a former special forces guy in Viet Nam, became a medical doctor and later prison doctor. We swap a lot of prison stories. Tom was raised in various places in South America and speaks Portuguese and Spanish. Tom owns hot air balloons.  Stew and Gloria are a nice and very friendly couple. Stew is a off-road race car driver...as in Baja road racing. Gloria seems to be enjoying the racing life but doesn't get too involved. If Stew starts talking about race cars or the technical aspect of racing you will be there for a while. The same is true if Stew and Tom start comparing Viet Nam stories. Evan stopped in while on a trip from Portland...he is a vintner at an Oregon winery. I learned all about the various types of grapes and where they will or won't grow. Roberta is a recently certified real estate lady...just got her license. Kyle, yes Kyle, is a Santa Domingo Pueblo Indian who always invites people to his house for BBQ and gives out directions but I haven't gone yet. There are others that I've met early on that I can't recall their name. One was a screen writer and film maker who does independent films. Another was a professor of screen writing at a local college. There are a few local farmers who come in and speak Spanish to each other but perfect English to other folks. I've enjoyed talking to these folks and I've learned a lot.


Dana, the owner is maybe 30 and he seems to enjoy it all. This is his first venture into the brewing business and he has some good help. There is no big screen TV hanging on the wall and no karaoke. There is a dart board, a bocce court and an outdoor patio with a wood stove for cool nights. Everything seems to be geared toward conversation.

My Day at the Museum

I've been wanting to go see a museum exhibit for the last month or so and kept putting it off. I am the king of procrastinators and end up doing things at the last minute. The exhibit was "Renaissance to Goya: Prints and Drawings from Spain" at the New Mexico Museum of Art in Santa Fe. It is a touring exhibit but Santa Fe is the only stop in the US and it is scheduled to leave in a few days.

I only live a half hour away from Santa Fe but it usually takes me another half hour to find what I'm looking for and a reasonable place to park. This discourages me from going to Santa Fe very often but there is a commuter train that offers a great alternative to driving and I should go by train -- it's a $5.00 round trip. I drove instead. The museum is located on the plaza next to the Palace of the Governor's so parking can be difficult. I was lucky and found a spot only three blocks away.

The exhibit includes works by about a dozen or more artists from about 1600 to about 1830. Most of the art work consists of drawings or prints, mostly in black chalk or some pen and ink. The drawings and prints are small, usually less than ten inches square. Subject matter is mostly religious events but there are some facial studies and some secular subjects. Goya's pieces include some of his warfare prints and some on bull fighting.

When I entered the exhibit gallery I was right behind a grade school class on a field trip. These looked like fourth or fifth graders. The class was being escorted by a museum staff person who was explaining the various pieces of art and trying to add a little context. The students were well behaved and quiet but I'm sure that most of them didn't grasp what the  museum guide was trying to explain. The pieces were so small that it was hard to make out the image unless you were fairly close.

There are lots of fairly obscure religious stories depicted in the collection. Saint Anthony of Padua was a busy man based on some of the drawings...lots of miracles. Other saints were being butchered. Heretics were being garroted or placed on trial during the inquisition. Baby Jesus was being circumcised. There were lots of angels, saints and demons. Goya's prints had folks being gored or trampled by bulls, lunatics on the loose and war heroes doing various heroic warlike things.

I suspect that there will be some interesting questions around the dinner table tonight in some of the students' homes.